Frozen and Broken

My memory is sometimes too good for my own good. I can sit here and bury my mind in heavy bad memories from years ago. It is like having a radio playing in my head. I can't turn it off. Mistakes, missed opportunities, movies I've watched, songs playing at full volume. It will drive me crazy one day.

I finally jumped off into the world of 3G. I bought a no-camera HTC Tilt. I am not supposed to have a camera at work so I will play the game. I would have just kept on waiting for something better but the battery cover keeps coming off of my HTC Star Trek(Cingular 3100). It is very annoying.

I have high hopes that this Tilt will be as if my HTC Star Trek and my Dell Axim met at their cousin's wedding and hit it off big time and went to Vegas that night and was married by Elvis and then had a baby named Tilt then put their baby on Ebay with an 8gig micro SD card and case. That is what I am hoping it will be like. Just like it.

How could I forget?

Ever feel like you are in the bottom of the mostly empty medium Icee cup? It is cold at your feet. The color has all been drained from the beverage and you are left with small mountains on either side with dozens of little holes from repeated straw pokes. I liked the old wax covered cups with the Icee Polar Bear on the side. It is hard to get an actual Icee brand beverage but the fake ones are at Target and Burger King.

I feel anxious. It is like walking through that shark tunnel at the aquarium. I am not worried about the sharks but think about that plexiglass giving way.

Drop Dead List

I thought the term "Drop Dead List" was something already in common usage. I update my list each year around Christmas and this year I thought I would google around to see what others out in the wide world were doing with theirs. So far, all I can find is some band and a brand of clothes. The band is serious hardcore metal with a demo grade song for free and the clothes are a cross between Hello Kitty and The Monster Mash.

The concept of the "Drop Dead List" is easy to grab. If I were to DROP DEAD right at this second, what would my family need to know. This is not a replacement for a secret public journal or a list of children you fathered and never told your wife about. I am talking practical stuff here.

The Drop Dead List should answer questions like "where are the birth certificates?", "what is the password to get into the 401k website?", "where did we put those savings bonds we bought 8 years ago?". These are all good questions and they are easy for me to answer but my wife probably would not know the answers.

After my Mom died I helped to locat bills, contact creditors, and lookup other important info. I don't want anyone else to have to go through that for me and hence the Drop Dead list was born.

I have a problem with keeping detailed sensitive information in Word or Excel. I don't like keeping this sort of thing just laying around either. I have been using a program called eWallet by Ilium it is not ideal for a Drop Dead List. The print features are clearly not designed to be used. I don't have an answer for this.

I may do some sort of form or template that I can just write in my information. This keeps the format clean and the answers aren't recorded without encryption. I could put this form in the safe deposit box.

I don't know why I am thinking about this. This is not plesant to think about this close to the holidays.