Frozen and Broken

My memory is sometimes too good for my own good. I can sit here and bury my mind in heavy bad memories from years ago. It is like having a radio playing in my head. I can't turn it off. Mistakes, missed opportunities, movies I've watched, songs playing at full volume. It will drive me crazy one day.

I finally jumped off into the world of 3G. I bought a no-camera HTC Tilt. I am not supposed to have a camera at work so I will play the game. I would have just kept on waiting for something better but the battery cover keeps coming off of my HTC Star Trek(Cingular 3100). It is very annoying.

I have high hopes that this Tilt will be as if my HTC Star Trek and my Dell Axim met at their cousin's wedding and hit it off big time and went to Vegas that night and was married by Elvis and then had a baby named Tilt then put their baby on Ebay with an 8gig micro SD card and case. That is what I am hoping it will be like. Just like it.

How could I forget?

Ever feel like you are in the bottom of the mostly empty medium Icee cup? It is cold at your feet. The color has all been drained from the beverage and you are left with small mountains on either side with dozens of little holes from repeated straw pokes. I liked the old wax covered cups with the Icee Polar Bear on the side. It is hard to get an actual Icee brand beverage but the fake ones are at Target and Burger King.

I feel anxious. It is like walking through that shark tunnel at the aquarium. I am not worried about the sharks but think about that plexiglass giving way.

Drop Dead List

I thought the term "Drop Dead List" was something already in common usage. I update my list each year around Christmas and this year I thought I would google around to see what others out in the wide world were doing with theirs. So far, all I can find is some band and a brand of clothes. The band is serious hardcore metal with a demo grade song for free and the clothes are a cross between Hello Kitty and The Monster Mash.

The concept of the "Drop Dead List" is easy to grab. If I were to DROP DEAD right at this second, what would my family need to know. This is not a replacement for a secret public journal or a list of children you fathered and never told your wife about. I am talking practical stuff here.

The Drop Dead List should answer questions like "where are the birth certificates?", "what is the password to get into the 401k website?", "where did we put those savings bonds we bought 8 years ago?". These are all good questions and they are easy for me to answer but my wife probably would not know the answers.

After my Mom died I helped to locat bills, contact creditors, and lookup other important info. I don't want anyone else to have to go through that for me and hence the Drop Dead list was born.

I have a problem with keeping detailed sensitive information in Word or Excel. I don't like keeping this sort of thing just laying around either. I have been using a program called eWallet by Ilium it is not ideal for a Drop Dead List. The print features are clearly not designed to be used. I don't have an answer for this.

I may do some sort of form or template that I can just write in my information. This keeps the format clean and the answers aren't recorded without encryption. I could put this form in the safe deposit box.

I don't know why I am thinking about this. This is not plesant to think about this close to the holidays.

Flies and Blue Skies

I was given a package this weekend with most of my school report cards. That was a trip and a half. I have not thought of that junk in a long time. How did I get out of Jr. High school? I barely passed everything. I would make a B and then an F and then back to B. That kind of swing should show my attention span.

This blog is a study in why I did so very badly in English class. BLOGS are usually just a published first draft. I make a habit of going back to my old posts and doing a little rewrite here and there.

In addition to the flood of inadequacy and self doubt that accompanied the realization that I was retarded in school, I decided to go through some old floppy disks. I found backed up artwork, letters, clip-art, and photos. I found copies of the first web site I ever coded in HTML back in 1994. That was funny. I found old landscape paintings I did with Corel Draw 3. I also found some of my college writings. This was bad!

The funniest thing I found was a power point presentation that I had sent to my father-in-law to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. Yeah, don't ask why.

I should have went to art school or clown college. Instead I clowned around at a liberal arts college.

Don't bother reading this.

As bloggers go, I am a pretty terrible one. I started this thing thinking it would be a product review kind of blog. The problem with that is I don't really get to buy or play with too many new and exciting doo dads. So there went that idea.

I then thought this would be a stream of conscience kind of place to put my funny and exotic thoughts about this, that, or the other. I am unique just like everyone else. No one cares. I think that is the most comforting thing about putting your blog on the web is that no one is looking for your blog and no one cares. I love that about the internet.

I posted things I thought was funny and pointed friends and family to the site. This killed any anonymity I would have normally enjoyed. I have to be careful not to discuss Tommy 2 Tone or LOIK in my posts as they may find out about them.

What am I left with? Do I just close the account and continue to write my thoughts in a file? I don't know the answer.

Until I find an answer I will continue to blog here. I will log in late at night jamming to Dead Poetic or Emery, and exposing my sanitized, albeit, goofy, inner thoughts. Besides, no one reads this anyway.

There will always be surprises

I am surprised by how much I like Phil Collins singing "In The Air Tonight". I am surprised by how quickly children learn something even though you have been trying to teach it to them for years. I am surprised at how much coffee I can drink. I am surprised by what some people name their children.

Going through some old papers I was surprised by the effect seeing a death certificate has even after eleven years.

Not surprising is the fact that the ideal distance between chairs at an outdoor wedding front to back is 23 inches and laterally it is 6 inches. Makes sense right?

Let me go ahead and publish my FreeCell Stats. I have 491W and 225L making a 69% win rate with a win streak of 16 and a loss streak of 6. I am in the mood to break that streak!!!

Vista for President

I think John McCain should chose Microsoft Vista as his Vice President.

Strange and mystical forces outside the bounds of logic have put these two into positions of power. They are both trying to win the world over in order to control the earth. Let me compare their stories and show why they deserve each other.

1. We have to Upgrade: It is the law of the land as well as the law of computer advancement.

There will be an election, there will be new hardware and software. This is a fact that we can't avoid.

2. Neither Vista or McCain were chosen by a democratic process.

Microsoft decided what would be and not be included in Vista. Licensing contracts ensure that at least someone will have to use Vista. The primary process is anything but representative of what the country wants. We pick a candidate based on what a few states decide. That is just silly.

3. The other options are not really ready to be options.

Come on, we have to vote for McCain. There really is not an alternative. We will have to upgrade to Vista. There really is not an alternative. Mac is not interested in having anyone new try their OS. They are not interested in making business networks and they really do not care about the small business folks. They gun for the big money big head types. The Mac is like Clinton. Clinton appeals to a specific crowd but I don't see the majority of people will go that way.

Linux is the Obama in this race. Most people don't know enough about him to dislike him. There are many rumors and misunderstandings about both Linux and Obama. I don't see either of them ready to unseat the powers that are in place. Linux has given me hope in a future where Linux will be a force but that is mostly because of the money Ubuntu has put into making their product great. I really don't know much about Obama but I don't swing to the left so I really don't care anyway. I have a linux installation or two but I don't depend on them for anything.

4. McCain and Vista will have a short shelf life.

McCain would be the oldest president ever. That likely means one term. They could put in a pig's heart or a robotic colon or something to keep him going but the truth is that being president is a tough job. We will be doing this all over again in a few years.

Vista has had some problems to say the least. It is a minority that believe Vista has the lifespan that XP did/does. Vista will go the way of ME and Bob. The next version of Windows will happen in a year or two and people will forget Vista and big companies that hold out will say, man I am glad we waited for something better.

I wrote this thing out of frustration. I hate that cable news and a Baptist Preacher decided who will be the next president. I hate that Vista is so Mac like. I hate that out of 1 gig of RAM 823mb is used without any user applications running. I hate that after 14 minutes on a brand new install, brand new PC, Vista hung like a Iraqi leader.