Joy is a rare condition. It is not a natural state. With no forces acting upon us we don't revert back to joy. Some are able to relax but while that may lead to joy it is no guarantee.
Chip tells me that self awareness is key to life. I want to be oblivious for a while. As disengaged and adynamic as I perceive myself to be I still feel I need to recoil further from the outside forces. I find there are few things I can say to identify myself or my beliefs these days. I feel trapped and I am forced to communicate. I am not talking about the fact that Chip butt dials me at least twice a day but seriously, stop that. I don't even answer anymore because it happens all the time.
I don't think of it as isolation but insulation. I can't image what real people with real problems do. I am scrambled but it is my fault. I have no biological excuses or terrible tragic thing to blame. Its just me.
The songs seeing me through these days are:
That's Not My Name by The Ting Tings
Soulful Christmas by James Brown
Curbside Goodbye by Emery
That's right, I own the Thriller Album and shut up! Statistically you either own it or are lying about not owning it.
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